


Not as brave as you were at the start

by pene



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1427509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pene/pseuds/pene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post ep 5.14</p><p>This is the right thing to do. That doesn't mean it's easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not as brave as you were at the start

**Author's Note:**

> Corinna *always* helps.

It’s the right thing to do. Moving out. Moving in with Sam and Mercedes. There’s something deeply comforting about knowing this is the right thing to do. Still, in between carrying armfuls of clothes up the stairs, Blaine secretly longs for Kurt to look over with those clear, sad eyes and put a stop to it all. He longs for Kurt to say, “Please don’t leave.”

Kurt doesn’t.

Blaine didn't really expect that he would. Blaine probably wouldn’t stay even if he did. Especially now they’re more than halfway through the move.

It just wouldn’t make sense. They’ve agreed this is the right thing to do – the grown up, mature way forward, the best thing to ensure their very own forever and ever. Blaine trusts Kurt with this, trusts Kurt with his heart, and he also trusts himself.

So what if he’s not there every day to remind Kurt that he is the perfect boyfriend? They’ve promised their whole lives to one another. Kurt always keeps his promises. And Kurt loves him.

“Blaine, dude, do you need that many shoes?” says Sam as Kurt packs them away. “There’s no way they’ll all fit.”

“Yes they will,” says Kurt confidently.

“Like the Tardis,” Blaine explains, gesturing to the shoe organizer.

So then at last everything is done. Sam’s bed is rumpled as though he’s already had a nap or made out with someone while Blaine and Kurt collected the last of Blaine’s things. Blaine’s bed is neatly made, ready for him. Everything is in its right place.

Rachel’s rehearsing, so there's four of them eating at the loft – Kurt and Rachel’s loft. Kurt heats a Moroccan stew he takes from the freezer. Mercedes slices whole wheat bread. They eat from mismatched bowls and drink from whatever glassware they can find.

Kurt smiles at Blaine, often, while they eat. It settles Blaine’s heart. When Kurt and Blaine have their own place, the tableware will match. It’s going to be wonderful.

They wash the dishes while Sam and Mercedes giggle together across the room. Kurt says, low, “Please stay tonight.”

Blaine thinks of his bed with the perfect hospital corners and Sam and Mercedes loud and bright in the living room. He smiles at Kurt.

“Of course,” he says. He’s moving forward, but tonight there’s still time to look back.

**

The bed is Kurt’s bed again. It’s not Kurt and Blaine’s any more. Maybe it never really was. But when Kurt pushes Blaine down into it and looks at him, his eyes are bright. “I miss you already,” he says.

“ _Kurt_ ,” says Blaine.

“It’s the right thing,” says Kurt. “I know. This is the right thing for us.” They’ve said it to one another dozens of times, to their friends a dozen more. They’re reminding themselves over and over. “But I miss you already.”

“Me too,” says Blaine.

And that’s why Blaine is moving out. So that Kurt longs for him and reaches out to him. It’s one reason in a long list that includes New York dates, video games with Sam, inviting one another over, superhero club meetings without Kurt’s critical eye, the bubbling thrill of accidental meetings at NYADA, the anticipation in knocking on Kurt’s door. The list is full of things that are fun when you’re young and in love. This is their time. They might as well take advantage of it.

Blaine sits up a little and kisses Kurt. They undress quietly, eyes never straying far from one another.

This time Kurt doesn’t ask what Blaine wants. He probably knows the answer: _you. everything._ It’s always you and it’s always everything.

“I love being just us, just like this,” says Kurt as he kneels between Blaine’s legs, pushing them apart. “Mmm. So flexible,” he says, raising his eyebrows with feigned archness. Blaine smiles. He’s been training. Over time there are going to be lots more things he can show Kurt.

Kurt lubes his fingers. He speaks low. “Here’s what I want. I want to be so deep inside you that you think of me all through tomorrow. I want to make sure you remember to come back.”

“Kurt,” says Blaine, half laughing and breathless as Kurt pushes two fingers inside him, unhesitatingly. Blaine moans at the feeling, still so astonishingly foreign and full even after all this time. “ _Kurt_ \- I will always, **always** come back.”

“I know,” Kurt says quietly. And Blaine loves that Kurt is confident but he loves that Kurt is nervous too, that he’s aching to have Blaine here, that Kurt is making a choice and he’s choosing Blaine.

Kurt wraps his free hand around Blaine’s cock and pumps a little up and down. Blaine’s cock hardens in his fist. “Do you want to come first?” asks Kurt.

Blaine shakes his head. “I want to come with you inside me.” 

Kurt’s eyes flutter closed. He pushes a third finger inside Blaine. Blaine lifts his ass off the bed to meet him. He intends to feel this right through his body.

“Please Kurt,” Blaine says.

Kurt spreads his fingers fractionally, pushes a fourth past Blaine’s lubed entrance, then pulls them out. Blaine takes a shaking breath. He watches Kurt roll on a condom, then lower his hips between Blaine’s thighs. He has one hand on his shaft as he pushes the head of his cock inside Blaine. “Please,” Blaine breathes again. He wraps his legs around Kurt and tugs them closer together, his heels pressing into Kurt’s lower back. He presses hard. Kurt’s hips are forced down and his cock drives deep in to Blaine, balls pressed against Blaine’s ass. Blaine almost wails with the pleasure and ache of it.

They pause for a moment, Blaine getting accustomed to the stretch, Kurt panting and wide eyed above him.

“Oh god,” says Kurt indistinctly. “Okay.”

He works his hips, gently thrusting forward again and again. Blaine closes his eyes, whimpers. He lets his head drop back, moving it back and forth without intending to. Kurt leans down over him, kisses his lips and jaw. Blaine stills and kisses back messily, seeking Kurt’s lips, feeling almost insensible.

They keep moving like that, Blaine spread wide open with Kurt inside. It feels like they’re melding. It feels like Kurt is one with him. Kurt angles his hips and thrusts deeper and faster, over and over. His lips still press against Blaine’s skin but with less intent. When he moans Blaine feels it deep inside.

“I love you,” says Kurt and his voice is broken. Blaine reaches between them to touch himself. He comes in a rush, shuddering and lost in that bright, clean elation. Kurt moans and pumps his hips, pressing forward to gasp against Blaine’s skin. His body drops, spent against Blaine’s as he comes.

They catch their breath, wrapped in one another. Blaine smiles against Kurt’s shoulder and can’t stop.

“Okay,” says Kurt. “That was amazing. You are amazing. And you need to move back in so we can do that continually.”

Blaine laughs, though it stings a little to do so.

“One day,” he says. “One day we’ll move in together.”

“Together,” Kurt echoes because Blaine’s explained it to him and he does understand. Blaine blinks at tears and smiles again. He will always love this boy. He wraps his arms around Kurt to sleep.

**

When he wakes, Blaine stretches in Kurt’s bed and runs fingers across Kurt’s sleep warm skin to rouse him. Then he gives Kurt a blinking, early morning blow job. Kurt turns his head, muffles his moans in his pillow and then crawls down Blaine’s body to sleepily return the favor.

When Blaine gets up he borrows Kurt’s shirt, brushes his teeth with the toothbrush Kurt bought for him. He puts the kettle on. Kurt stumbles out of bed, still clumsy and adorable with sleep.

“I put the kettle on and there’s coffee in the press,” says Blaine. He looks around the room to see if he’s left anything. 

“You’re going?” Kurt asks. His smile is wistful but it’s still a smile.

“I am,” Blaine says. “But I’ll see you later.” They stand for an extended moment. “Also I love you,” Blaine says.

“I love you, too.”

They kiss at the door. It’s a new promise.

Outside it’s looking to be a bright day. The city is waking up. Blaine’s breath puffs in clouds as he walks to his place. It’s not his home yet, but sometime it will be. Except that there will never be a day when his home isn’t Kurt.


End file.
